I don’t know if you wonder about that, but most of us want to be happy, or we want to be happier.
Isn’t that true? When you ask somebody what they want to achieve they often say “I just want to be happy”. The question is, what does “Happy” mean?
Today, I am going to answer the question for you, how can I be happy. Do you think it is even possible?
Understanding what happiness is
Okay, the first point I want to make is that “happy” or “happier” is too abstract. What does happy mean? It is different for everybody. The unconscious mind needs to know what goals or outcomes it needs to achieve. That means you need to state firmly what happy is, what is it that you want.
Example. If you have strong legs, is going to be able to walk to work going to make you happy? Maybe. If you temporarily can’t walk, do you think it will make you happy if you can walk? YES!!
Here is another example. If you have $100, how would you feel if you won $10000? Pretty good, I would say. But what if you were a millionaire? $10000, probably wouldn’t have a significant impact.
You see, concepts such as “wealthy”, “happy”, “rich’ and “abundant” are too abstract, so you need to get more precise about what you are aiming for.
The second point. Happy is a state of mind, that means you can recall it at any time. There would have been a time that you were happy. Maybe you looked in the mirror when you tried on something new. Perhaps you just achieved a goal in the gym, or maybe your partner gave you the most fantastic present. So recalling that moment is going to make you happy, right at that moment.
The third point, get clear on your purpose. Many people that I speak with in regards to purpose have an A-HA moment. Purpose gives you focus, direction and it can smooth out all the highs and lows giving you a more sustained growth in happiness.
The final point I want to make is that life goes in cycles. After a down period, comes an upcycle. That is important to remember. This means you can enjoy your down-cycles, knowing that it will be followed by an upcycle. I believe that there also always a slight upward movement.
6 Tips on how to be happier Forever
Now, let’s talk tips on how you can get happier in the long term.
Tip One: Be clear about what happiness means. Does it mean more money, better health, or a better job? For the unconscious mind to understand what it needs to work toward you need to be precise.
Tip Two: Avoid making your happiness dependent on somebody else. For example ‘I will be happy when I am in a relationship,” is very dependent on one other person. A new job, even though somebody has to hire you, is not dependent on the other person, because you can apply for dozens of jobs.
Tip Two-A: Don’t blame or credit people for your happiness or sadness. That gives your power away to the other person and stops you from being in charge of your happiness. An example? My partner left me for another, that is why I am so unhappy. With this statement, you have given him all the power. Say that you learned from your mistakes, at least that way you hold on to your power.
Tip Three: Have faith: God, source, the universe, whatever. Over the last five years, I have been made redundant or had contracts ended without financial reserves. Somehow, something always managed to fall in place. And yes, at times I did ask the Universe for support.
Tip Four: If you feel stressed, take time to relax. Meditate and calm your mind. That is going to be seriously tricky when you are under stress, but a calm mind invites creativity, even if you do it for just 15 minutes. In fact. Just a deep conscious breath cycle (deep in-hold- long out) can help you relax.
Tip Five: Exercise and record what you achieve. Here is why. Good exercise releases endorphins (the feel-good hormones,) so you will feel happier. Here is why you need to record your training. Let’s say you are starting. You can only run for five minutes. Write down your results as well as your goal (running six minutes).
A week later you run six minutes, the week after that, 7 minutes. You get the picture. Keeping a record will show you the progress, which is very rewarding. With weight lifting, there are even more opportunities for breaking personal bests. The first time you “bench press” 20kg and you can only do it six times. After a month you hit ten times (that is five amazing achievements), now you increase your weight to 25kg (what a feat), and the cycle begins again. Then you look in the mirror, and you look fitter, and you feel proud of yourself and healthier. Key is to set small, incremental goals that are easy to achieve.
Tip Six: This is the final and most important tip. True happiness comes from within. Once you start to focus on what others have or do and other things that are external to you, it becomes much harder to achieve and maintain happiness. It seems really obvious but at one point, when I was very unhappy, my partner at the time came up to me, and he said: “What can I do to make you happy?” That moment I realised that it is only you, and nobody else who can make you happy.